not sure I buy the explanation but it is funny - from Kitco

kitco.com

COGOLD/Kitco Inc. All rights reserved
The following apparently comes from a Catholic
elementary school.

Kids were asked questions
about the Old and New Testaments. The following
statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected ( i.e.,
incorrect spelling has been left in. ) ....

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark,
which animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire
by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray
by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of
the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where
they made unleavened bread which is bread
without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount cyanide
to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam
to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit
adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then
Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua
told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people
who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and
700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of
Jesus, she sand the MagnaCarta.

Jesus was born because Mary had a immaculate
contraption.

St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do
one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead
and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the lord were called the
12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was
also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which in another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Due to a scheduling error, 3 Nuns are needlessly involved in a fatal car accident.

As they arrive unexpected at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter is stunned.

"Holy Sisters, I was not expecting you. But rules are rules. I must ask each of you a question, in order to allow you in."

To the first Nun-

"What was the name of the first man?"

Nun 1, "That's an easy one, Adam!"

"Right, you're in!"

To the next Nun

"What was the name of the first woman?"

Nun 2, "That's an easy one, Eve!"

"Right, you're in!"

To the last Nun

"What is the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

Nun 3, "Now that's a HARD one!"

"Right, you're in!"

A lawyer arrives at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter says-

"Recount your good deeds!"

The lawyer replies, "When I was a young man I gave 15 cents to a blind beggar and just last year I gave 35 cents to charity!"

St. Peter turns to an archangel and says-

"Give this lawyer 50 cents and tell him to go to hell."

My sides are hurting!

ok, i can play this game also.

three guys all get to the pearly gates at about the same time.

the first one says, i was a pediatric surgeon and i help thousands of kids survive the worst calamities. s. peter says you can come in.

the second one says i was a pshrink and i helped thousands of people live productive lives and overcome their troubles. s. peter says you can come in.

the third guy says, i was a HMO manager and i help thousands of people get affordable health care. s. peter says you can come in, but in three days you can go to hell.

The lawyer, a priest and a Rabbi are all in Heaven. The Rabbi has a little home off the main road, the Priest a very modest home pretty far out, and the lawyer has a mansion right in the prime section. Eventually this grates on the Rabbi and the Priest since they all came in at the same time and had equally good lives. After cogitating on it for weeks, the Priest and the Rabbi go to St Peter and gripe, "hey whats the deal, he gets a mansion and we get shacks"

St Peter replies, "give me a break, we have millions of you guys up here and only 1 lawyer.