Hilarious.
Kevin and Angela Schmuck.
Peter Bending and Richard (You can call me Dick) Pounder.
You are too much.
OK, it's offensive. But anything that funny scores so many points on the hilarious satire meter that I just had to give credit for redeeming social value.
Desperate Floriduh Ream Estate BagHolders Forced to Harbor Hole-Punching Renters to Stave Off Financial Ruin"
You're trying to rent it just to stop the bleeding, " said Gary Schraut, owner of a Coldwell Banker ream estate borkerage in Borksville.
"They want to cover their costs, but you have to tell them, 'That ain't gonna happen, ' " said New Tampa's Duncan. "They'll
rent at a loss of $600 to $700 every month and try to figure out what to do."
Meanwhile, their insurance costs and taxes are spurting up, unimpeded by any caps.
The
double-whammy of rising costs and sinking rents, said St. Petersburg's Crone, "is starting to approach what I see as a crisis on the horizon."
Many are like Kevin Schmuck, 40, of Land O'Lakes, who seized on a popular investment tactic: make a $10,000 down payment on a house, then sell it for a $30,000 to $50,000 profit a couple of years later.
Schmuck and his wife, Angela, both in the sales and marketing fields, profited hugely in 2004, when they sold their home and bought a larger one. So the next year, they invested $200,000 in a townhouse in Wesley Chapel. Early last year, they added a $320,000 house.
Now, the Schmucks have lost more money on their new investments than they made on the original one, and they're seeking a tenant for the townhouse.
For some, the collapsing ream estate market is a good thing. "We're lovin' it," said Peter Bending of Clearwater, who rents a new three-bedroom home with his partner Richard Pounder. "When Richard lost his job at the salon, we couldn't afford the rent on the old house, but it took them almost a year to evict us. So we figure we can probably stay in this place a year without paying, too. We really like it here."